A few days ago, I started feeling really weird. It was late and close to bed time. I thought I was having a panic attack, but something about it didn't seem like one. I was very dizzy and confused. My boyfriend was talking to me, and I kinda passed out. The same thing happened the next night. Then, on Wednesday, I felt awful. The only way to describe it is that it reminded me of how I used to feel when I stayed up all night. The confusion in my thoughts, a mild headache threatening to bloom into something much worse. I spent the day in bed, thinking that I was getting sick. But, I knew it was something more.
My diet has been too strict. I'm proud of myself for being able to handle such a strict diet, but I haven't been doing it right.
I evaluated what I was eating. I know that I'm getting enough carbs and I'm careful to get enough calories. I should probably be eating more fats (definitely should be) and proteins. I'm hardly eating protein. I'm betting that a lot of people who switch over to a vegetarian diet wind up getting too little protein, at first. My brain is all green veggies and fruit! and my body is begging for something else. I think that's why I was feeling so crappy. Plus, to make matters worse, I've amped up my exercise, and so my body really, REALLY wants that protein.
I went to the vitamin store last night and picked up some hemp protein to add into my shakes every morning. Hopefully, this will help things.
I have had a paranoia and fear that if I eat something "bad", my weight will blow back up. This has kept me from eating much of what I used to eat. We went out and ate Ethiopian food a few nights ago - delicious, but not the healthiest - and, I didn't see a change on the scale. I need to let go of some of my fear and start eating a bit more normally. I didn't start this as a raw, vegetarian diet, but somehow, it kinda wound up there. I love raw fruits and vegetables, and it's important that I keep enjoying them, but I also need to eat more and more normally.
We went out for a big sushi dinner last night, and it was spectacular. Sushi is my favorite food. Death row last meal? SUSHI.
So, that's where I'm at. I'm at 197 on the scale today, and I'm happy about that. We went to the mall yesterday, and I got a bunch of cheap sale clothing at The Gap. It's been a long, long time since I could fit into anything at The Gap. So, that was definitely a bright side.
It's sometimes shocking to me that I've been doing this for so long at this point. I had hoped that I would stick with this, but knowing my own will power limitations...well, I wasn't sure I could.
Gotta be careful with these things, though. The last thing I want is to wind up in a hospital because my nutritional levels are messed up.
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