StressFood.

I am guilty of being a stress eater.  Well, and an every-other-time eater.  But, I think it's common for people to grab at food when they're stressed, often without even thinking about it.  I guess that's one of the things I'm trying to do more of now:  Think about my food.  Am I really hungry?  Do I need to eat this or would the much healthier that be just as good?  Why am I really eating this?

Today, my dad had major surgery and I'm waiting to hear how everything went.  I know that he's fine, but I'm worried.  He's my Dad.

So, I wound up in the kitchen, about to get all grabby with the fridge.  It was the first time in the past few days that I wasn't thinking about the food.  I was hungry, I was upset, and I was going to eat.  I don't know what I was going to eat, but you can bet I wasn't craving carrots.  Luckily, I caught myself before any damage was done, and took a second to think about what I was doing.  I was hungry, that much was true.  But, I didn't need to eat crap to make myself feel better.

When we're young, I think that a lot of us give fruits and vegetables a certain reputation.  For me, they were the parts of meals that I had to eat.   And, I think that as an adult, no one's there to make sure we get the foods we need, so we drop the food we don't care for.  Mom wouldn't have let you have McDonald's every day.

And, what's the most surprising is how absolutely delicious good food is.  Raw almonds have really been kicking my ass lately, because I am addicted to their flavor.  I have a bag of them next to my laptop at all times, as an immediate craving ender.  I take tiny little bites out of each one, making it last.  And, they're delicious.  They're fantastic.  They're made all the more wonderful by the lack of guilt that follows a big handful of them.

This now sounds like a commercial for almonds.  Go get you some almonds!

So, back to the kitchen and the stress.  I stood there looking at so many bad foods.   They offered sugar and complex carbohydrates and crazy sodium and huge amounts of fat and shocking caloric loads.  They did not offer energy.  They didn't offer mental clarity.  They didn't offer metabolic stability or digestive strength.  They just offered a few minutes of pleasure.  And, I can't allow myself to choose a few minutes of pleasure over my health anymore.

I'm sure that my dad will be fine, and that a white bread ham and swiss sandwich with loads of mayo won't make him feel any better or get me news any faster.

In fact...it's sandwiches like that that made it necessary for my father to have surgery today and almost die from a heart attack a few years ago.

So, I chose an apple, a handful of almonds, and a few baby carrots.  It sounds so radical, but is it?  And, I'm going to eat them slowly, and enjoy the flavors.  I'm not going to condemn my sweet baby carrots to a thick coating of ranch dressing.  I will enjoy each and every flavor and be thankful that my food is loving me, instead of hating me.