Monday, November 22, 2010

Could it be the food?

For the longest time, I've been down.  Run down.  Down thoughts.  Down actions.  Just negative in every way.  I'm highly stressed, even though I don't have a particularly stressful life.  I snap easily, and I have a bad temper.  I always feel tired, and though I actually have the desire to exercise and get fit, I don't have the energy.  I get dizzy a lot, and I often have minor headaches.  I have stomach problems (I have long suspected an ulcer), and digestion tends to make me nauseous.  I have heart palpitations and I would not be surprised if I either have diabetes or I'm pre-diabetic.

I've dug myself into a huge rut, and I need to get out before I have a nervous breakdown, lose friends, wind up in the hospital or just plain have a heart attack or stroke and die.

My father had a major heart attack, and he is overweight.  I think that his heart attack was what first got me really good and scared about the way my life was going.

But, it's not just the physical.  I'm a negative person, and I don't like it.  I'm sure my boyfriend doesn't like it.  Who would?  And, it's not my nature.  I'm a relatively funny person - outgoing, despite social anxiety.  Yet, my mind constantly invents and then recycles negative thoughts.  I'm fighting myself, here.

This blog isn't just about vegetables and superfood.  It's about trying to become a better person for myself, and for the people in my life.

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